Home

flower amongst vine
a line that both intersects
and connects

none of us ever alone when
every moment of her was

home


for my brothers

Come Find Me, A Moth Hiding

you'll find me in

the mountain's mist
the dogwood's bloom
the fisherman's cast
a maple's collapse

hiding from the
half moon's lie
mighty does it's light betray us
for it only mimics the dawn

come find me
come find me
come find me

weather patterns

the jet stream brought word that
you'd married
and I think I expected to feel,
as the breeze played through my hair,

against my skin,
cold, or a shivering, or
the damp of
dark waters rising,

but instead came a smile
feeling only the movement of weather
of which I cannot despair

The Worst of Me

this, a rainy day mood
one of black black coffee and 7 minute songs
another cup, strong, and another song, cello, in the background
my thoughts are a stray dog nosing through the garbage
these thoughts, the worst of me:

she doesn't post to her blog anymore
her last was a picture of her breastfeeding her newborn
I don't know why I wonder about her life
I never liked her that much
we had nothing in common other than the fucking

and that was the end of us.

there was a small clique of 4 or 5 kids
in high school who didn't like me
I think they thought someone so quiet, so shy,
must be blank inside
and couldn't understand the attraction
all but one of them are dead now
killed by cancer, car accident, a drunken fall

but sometimes I feel like they still won.

I don't miss my grandparents
my memory of them, nothing more than
black and white faded photos in an old album
kept somewhere, in someone else's attic
maybe in a taped box
I'm certain they were good people,
surviving great depressions and great wars
but I didn't know them,

just a five dollar bill in a birthday card.

I worry about becoming like my mother
afraid of the dark storm
tread softly, there is a rattlesnake somewhere in the house
or already inside me, hidden

a genetic time bomb, clock winding down to zero.

I see it in my brother
who I left behind when I moved to California
I abandoned him, leaving him to the high waters
him on the rooftop as the boat pulled away
a mistake, a loss, a complicated failure of conscience
too late, there is now no grenade to throw myself on

just the waiting.

the rattlesnake poised to strike, its venom is

the worst of me.

HER HIGH WIRE CRAZY

ah, the wild the crazy
the punch drunk or
just drunk
it was a wide wide fingertip to
fingertip horizon
a bright bright sun
that brought the hot winds
and the violent violet flash
on blistered feet
her silhouette etched
into blue eyes gone blind
a tribute in light and
shadowed sunspots
or just a puppet performing in
a circus that never left town
a high wire act hard to follow
but we tried
I tried
a mind may expand but stop just short
just shy of revelation
afraid of the precipice plunge
every day with you was
the moment before impact

how would it feel to hit the ground

who let who go in slow motion
you're still falling
I'm still watching
an observer perched
within gravity's edge
the only light to have left
this black hole
this spinning void

is the glint in this eye...

Lost in the Lights

for all that the days get longer
there's still not the time
to find
what was lost
in your light

Gortowski at 60

In school we are taught the heroes of the world,
Thanking Magellan for circling the flat planet,
Gandhi for his deafening silent peace,
Jesus dying for my sins,

If you listen you can hear the music through the noise,
After a hard day's night I hear The Beatles,
I can check out when I like but never leave with The Eagles,
Then I think what a wonderful world it is with Louis Armstrong,

Sometime moments wake us up from the sleep of everyday life,
Getting the first kiss from Amanda Feree after recess,
Stealing the tap off the keg from Psi Delta's party,
Standing over my grandpa's grave,

This single life is myself and everyone at the same time,
We're all living off each other sharing the Ego,
The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving,
There is no such thing as nothing,

Thanks for showing me the laughter never gets softer,
How to bounce back from the worst situation imaginable,
That we never stop learning and making new friends,
Life will always go on...